discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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