she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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