did you get engaged???
mondays should just be called national damage control day
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
