I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
