evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
