Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
