got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize