maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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