just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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