how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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