O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
