My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
