She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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