Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
