Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
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I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
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You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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