Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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