i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
