doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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