grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
