i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
