Farmville is her only friend.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
