The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
