oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
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You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
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Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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