i think my mom watched the whole time
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
