true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
