I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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