it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once