We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
