I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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