She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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