sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
