Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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