why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
