I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
