you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
