Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
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I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
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Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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