none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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