Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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