i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
