Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
