I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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