she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
