we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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