I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
