there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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