i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
