stop calling my apartment porn island.
a search helicopter?!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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