i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
