she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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