I think i peed on brittanys purse
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
