So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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