Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
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He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
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So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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