Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
