whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
