I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
