Someone shit on the floor
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
