there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize