her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
