How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize