I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
